no one’s selling fake estate
astronomers got tired after watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours so they decided to call it a day
(Source: communistbakery, via drunkorworse)
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now
A Simplified Guide To The Sexualities
Homosexual: sexual attraction to houses and other building like structures.
Heterosexual: an undying lust for Macklemore.
Asexual: attraction to any and all things beginning with the letter A.
Pansexual: a desire for pots, pans, and other kitchen utensils.
Polysexual: sexual attraction to polygons.
Bisexual: Attraction to the 9th century Chinese army officer Bi Shiduo.
Demisexual: Never ending love of demi lovato
"We gotta start teaching our daughters to be somebodies instead of somebody’s."
- Kifah Shah (via lazyteen)
(Source: ivicus, via lune-fox)
"Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.
‘After all this time?’
‘Always,’ said Snape."
- J.K. Rowling (via kushandwizdom)